深知我心

Wit
一部安静,残忍( rěn)的影片.
它几乎是Emma的独角( jiǎo)戏,从牙牙学语的孩童,到( dào)雷厉风行的大学教授,到( dào)形同槁木的病患,以及最( zuì)后病床上静止了的生命( mìng).
毫无悬念,由生至死,毋庸( yōng)置疑的理所当然,而又不( bù)会让人觉得无趣.全凭演( yǎn)技、独白与情感支撑起一( yī)部经典.
Vivian Bearing, 哲学博士,大学教( jiào)授,主攻John Donne,苛刻严厉,说一不( bù)二,突然得知患有罕见卵( luǎn)巢癌. 片头Vivian与Dr. Kelekian的对话,Vivian的坚( jiān)忍可见一斑,8个月实验性( xìng)强度治疗不是儿戏,而是( shì)生命.
治疗期间,Vivian独处的时( shí)间里,安静到无法意识到( dào)时间的流动,时间过得那( nà)么缓慢,而又稀薄可见.回( huí)忆过往,Vivian再次认识了自己( jǐ)的生命.
E.M. Ashford 是Vivian的文学导师, 在( zài)她的回忆中,首次出现了( le)John Donne的这首诗: “

Death be not proud

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee, 5
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell, 10
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.”
这也是整部电( diàn)影的核心.生,死之间,是一( yī)个逗号,还是一个惊叹号( hào)? Ashford说, 生、死、永生，他们之隔着( zhe)小小的逗号，只需经过小( xiǎo)憩，我们将会永生.

值得一( yī)提的是,一直协助Vivian治疗的( de)Jason,一个医学院的年轻学生( shēng),恰巧大学期间修过Vivian的课( kè).他英俊,聪明,野心,意气奋( fèn)发,认为 “癌”是极为了不起( qǐ)的,完美的,因此潜心研究( jiū)癌症.像我们都会在生活( huó)中遇到的男生一样,他们( men)优秀出色,只是这样的他( tā)们,身上缺少一种personal feeling, 或 human kindness, 或是( shì)中文的人文情怀.这份人( rén)情关怀与善意,Vivian在病重后( hòu)期一直期求着.

Vivian一直知道( dào),自己的病不会痊愈,有段( duàn)诗,她在检查时自言自语( yǔ), : “This is my play’s last scene, here, heavens appoint my Phil grime’s last mile. And my race, idly, yet quickly run. Hath this last pace. My span’s last inch. My minute’s last point. And gluttonous death will instantly unjoint my body and soul. ”
极度恐慌时,Vivian自言自语, “我( wǒ)要躲起来”,躲开上帝,蜷缩( suō)成一小团.她已经渐行渐( jiàn)远.
E.M. Ashford是唯一来看望Vivian的人,当( dāng)初德高望重的导师,这时( shí)却更像是慈母,脱掉了冬( dōng)靴,躺上Vivian的病床,拥抱着她( tā),就像是哄自己的孩子入( rù)睡,她朗读的不是John Donne的诗歌( gē),Vivian不想再思考John Donne迷一样的诗( shī),一本童话书才是最好的( de), “Now is the time for simplicity.”
Vivian在兔宝宝的童话故事里( lǐ),渐渐睡去,泪流满面,是因( yīn)为痛,还是感怀?